Spin
by coffeeicecream
Summary: High School AU. Fuji loves to draw, and only ever draws the same thing over and over again: the back of a man who is the muse of all his works. But lately, He begins to notice something. The man in his drawings is slowly turning around.


**Title:** Spin  
 **Pairing:** Perfect Pair; hints of SaeFuji and SaeRyou  
 **Genre:** Romance, Fantasy  
 **Rating:** G  
 **Summary:** High School AU. Fuji loves to draw, and only ever draws the same thing over and over again: the back of a man who is the muse of all his works. But lately, he begins to notice something. The man in his drawings is slowly turning around. Perfect Pair

 **A/N:** posting another fic after an eternity. i got interested in TeniPuri again so . Saeki and Ryou are Seigaku students here because of plot purposes. warning for OOCness. all the characters are somewhat deviated to their original personalities.

* * *

"...ji...Fuji..."

The pink petaled path slowly dimmed and was replaced by the sight of a worried face peering at me. The person's head was tilted sideways to match the way my own cheek was pressed against the desk. I blinked a few times, trying to make my mind accustomed to the change in surroundings. Seeing that I finally came to my senses, he stood straight up while I too sat properly on my chair.

"You were spacing out again." The boy said with a resigned sigh. "I've been calling your name but you're not responding. If I wasn't used to this I would have rushed you to the clinic already."

I did not give a reply and just proceeded to put away the colored pencils that littered my table into their case. My movement was robotic, stiff, void of haste nor guilt despite having to be waited by the other party. Once my desk was cleared, the image of a sketch greeted me fully. This halted me from further actions as I stared down at the drawing. I felt the familiar wave of nostalgia in my chest, and I fought the urge to bite my lower lip to prevent the emotion from spilling out.

"Woah, that one's nice." The voice beside me spoke again, certainly looking at the same image that my eyes were currently fixated at. "Are those cherry blossoms? You drew them really well."

I gave a brief nod before finally taking the drawing pad, closing it shut. I put it under the table and stood up as I followed the man out of the classroom. There were many students walking along the hallway, chatting among themselves in their own separate groups as they filled the corridor with a cacophony of sounds. Occasional sprinters thundering down the path. A teacher shouting about the no running policy. People waving. People waving back. Heads popping out of classrooms. Heads peering in. A typical high school lunch break.

We reached the cafeteria where an even larger crowd greeted us. The smell of food, indiscernible as the aroma of each dish mixed with one another, the uncomfortable heat swirling inside the enclosed space from all the talking, sweating bodies and bustling kitchen. I tried my best to avoid making skin contact with anyone and kept close to the body in front of me as he zigzagged among the many tables before finally sitting on a spot at the farthest back, with me trailing behind

"Hey, Saeki!" A boy with red hair and a band aid on his cheek who was already seated at the table called out to us. His bright expression turned into a mild expression of surprise when his gaze landed on me. "And you've brought Fuji along!"

"Took me some time, though." Saeki replied back as he plopped down opposite of the other. Even without looking at his face, I knew he had a frown plastered on. "He was busy daydreaming again."

"Was he sketching, nya?"

"No, he was already done when I went to him."

Redhead turned to me with a look of interest. "What did you draw this time, Fuji?"

So many words flitted in my mind, tempting me to say them to the other. In the end, I settled for two. "Cherry blossoms."

"Nya?"

"The guy is walking in front, holding a hand behind him. There are cherry blossom petals floating everywhere." Saeki explained on my behalf, seeing that the person appeared confused at my response. "I think it's supposed to be a walk in the park during spring."

"Is that right, Fuji?" When this received a nod from me, he continued. "It's a little difficult to imagine, though. By holding hands you mean that popular thing couples do on Instagram? The one with the guy leading his girlfriend by the hand?"

My eyes remained closed in a perpetual smile, revealing nothing of my emotions. "Saa."

"Figures, nya."

"By the way, Kikumaru, where are the others?"

"At the counter. They are ordering for everyone except Kaidoh. He went back to his room to get his own bentou. I told Taka to order for you and Fuji."

"I have a feeling that I won't like what they're going to buy." Saeki said thoughtfully. "I'll change mine." And with that, he got up and headed for the aforementioned place where our other companions were currently at.

Once he was gone, I took pleasure in the silence that replaced our table and glanced outside. The sun was shining brightly, but not so much that it hurt my sight. There was something muted about the way the sunlight shone on everything behind the glass windows. The peaceful scene made me remember the vision that I had earlier. I could almost feel the soft breeze caressing my skin again, hear the murmur of leaves swaying as the invisible force shook them in their branches. The pink petals floated all around me, carrying a faint scent of sweetness that brought smile to my lips.

I could clearly see the brown path where I was walking on. My shoes scraped against the road, producing similar sounds made in front of me. You were holding my hand, our fingers interlaced together. The gaps in mine were filled with yours and it made my heart race. The hold felt comforting, secure. As if you would never let go, as if our limbs could never be separated. Always together, linked to each other.

"Ne, Fujiko?"

I turned to Kikumaru who was eyeing me with a look of curiosity. It was different from Saeki's worried ones, which made me thankful that the boy was not acting like there was something wrong with me for spacing out. To express my gratitude, I widened my smile. It was also a signal that I heard him and was waiting for what he was going to say.

"I know you've been like this ever since I first met you. You know, not really being talkative and lost in your own world." There was a careful note in his voice as he let out the words. "But I still can't help but wonder what goes in your head sometimes. I mean, you never really shared them to us even though we're friends. And to be honest, I'm having a hard time making sense of your answers whenever I ask you, nya."

I continued staring at him, waiting for more. I had encountered that question many times ever since I began hanging out with the same group of people almost three years ago. At the beginning there were only Saeki and Kikumaru, then quickly added with Kawamura, Inui, and then lastly, Momoshiro and Kaidoh. I had only ever explained my situation (though not to full extent) to the first two, being the firsts to witness my works and still chose to stay with me when everyone else did not. It was the least that I could give back for their understanding. And in return they retold it to the younger ones.

"Saeki told you already." I found myself saying. "I get visions sometimes and I can't help but draw them. It has been like that since I was young."

"But why is it always the same thing, nya?" Kikumaru pressed further.

 _Why indeed?_ I pondered as well. It was useless to try to formulate an answer when there was none to begin with so I settled with my most reliable response: I smiled.

The boy studied my expression before finally shrugging. "At this rate, we will graduate and I'll still never get an answer about that, nya."

I did not say more and just returned to looking outside. It did not take long until the other people in our circle came back and began handing out meals to everyone. I half-listened to their cheerful conversations, my mind still on the swirling, petal blooms and the hand holding mine. No one heard my tiny voice as I mumbled out the words.

"Do you like taking a walk at the park?"

 **+O+O+**

I did not know when exactly it begun.

The first proof that I had was an old drawing taped on the wall of my bedroom next to the study desk. There were two stick figures in the middle of the white sheet, their stick limbs connected to each other as if hand in hand. Both were boys. Both were smiling.

It had been there for as long as I could remember. When I asked my mother about that, she said that I drew it when I was attending daycare. I went home one afternoon and showed it to my parents. They thought it was a project that I made from the facility. I told her that I had to put it somewhere I can see it often, thus being placed near my desk. It was never removed, and was the only survivor among the many sketches that I apparently started doing since then.

The first memory that I could recall was in first grade. I remembered sitting in the middle of a sandbox, legs stretched out forward. Suddenly, a ball came rolling near my foot. I stared at the blue ball and watched a pair of hands picked it up. I felt a gentle pat at the top of my head as someone walked over to me. I was certain it was the one who got the ball. When I looked up, I saw the back of a boy running away with the toy in his hand.

I had no idea that the vision was not real until I heard the chirping of birds from a distance. It was then that I realized I was gazing out of my bedroom's window, staring at the playground where some children were having fun. I was prohibited from going because I messed with my father's important paperwork. I watched the kids playing. There was no boy with a blue ball among them.

Since then, I would get these occasional daydreams which would leave me dazed for a few seconds, sometimes even minutes on end. They were no ordinary flashbacks that would enter the mind and then disappear. Each felt like my soul was tugged out of my body and experienced an entirely different scenario where everything felt real. There were more sensations involved than just (mental) sight; smelling, hearing, touching.

There were many instances when I questioned myself about these occurrences. My reasoning turned more grounded yet darker as I grew older. Back then I thought I had superpowers of traveling to parallel dimensions. Then came the worry if I was mentally disturbed. But nowadays I just treated it as something normal. Years of dealing with the same old eventually made me desensitized to its peculiarity.

What never changed, however, was the fact that I had kept it as a secret from everyone. I considered telling my parents before, wanting to brag about my special ability but stopped short upon remembrance that superheroes never revealed themselves to other people. And when I began doubting my mental soundness, the more I held it close. No one wanted to be treated as crazy be it by family, friends, or not. I learned to observe them on my own; to check for destructive effects on myself and others. Months and months I did and when there was none, I finally breathed in relief and learned to enjoy it.

It was by the fifth vision since I gained awareness of my strange situation that I began sketching. Just like the time when I used to draw stick figurines, I tried my best to reflect the scenes that entered my brain into something physical. It was a way to relive them once I started to forget, and to remind myself that they really happened and I was not insane. But they were not enough. Those chicken scrawls did not give justice to what I was seeing, so I aimed for more.

My mother was delighted when I personally asked to be enrolled in private art classes to improve my drawing ability. I diligently studied every technique and did what I was told. I never lacked in terms of practice since there were a lot of visions to recreate. I think it was around my third month in the academy when my art teacher finally noticed the theme of my submitted works.

 _"Syuusuke, who is this boy that you always draw in your projects?"_

 **+O+O+**

"Hey, Fuji, wanna come with us to the mall? Saeki wants to buy some new tennis shoes."

I zipped my bag close before swinging it on my back. I turned to the long haired boy who was waiting in front of my table. "Sorry, I have an art class today."

"Oh." The boy said, his sharp eyes not leaving my face.

Just then, another student walked up to him and slung an arm over his shoulder. "Ready, Ryou? Man, I'm dying to get those kicks!"

"Fuji has art academy so he's not coming." Ryou replied flatly. He looked back at me with the same intent gaze, as if trying to figure out something from my serene visage. "We're going first. Just give us a call if you need anything."

"Bye, Fuji. See you tomorrow!" Saeki bid me goodbye as well.

I gave a nod and watched them exit the classroom. After running one last check on my desk, I too joined the other students in leaving the school.

 **+O+O+**

"Nice work, Fuji-kun. Your body parts are becoming more alive. Be careful with the shading, avoid using too much hard lines and you'll get even better."

I bowed in reply as the art teacher handed back the piece of paper that I had submitted the previous day. I was quietly scanning the work when her voice rang again. "When I got you from my co-worker at the intermediate class, she mentioned that you are a special case. I did not know why at first but she said to just observe the projects that you will be sending me and see for myself. Now, I can't help but feel the same kind of curiosity that she must have had when you were her student."

I flashed her a small smile, but did not make any move from my spot.

She continued. "You have a lot of potential to express yourself in a bigger scale but if your inspiration for continuing art lies on this one inspiration, then I hope you will continue to improve your craft for the sake of it."

I bowed one last time and went back to my seat. I carefully put away the sketch inside my file case and began clearing away my drawing materials. My spirits remained high even as I left the academy and was finally taking the trek back home.

 **+O+O+**

 _"Who is that in your drawings?"_

Everyone who saw my sketches never failed to ask me that question. From my first art teacher who noticed after dozens of submissions with the same muse, to my mother who accidentally saw them when she cleaned my room one weekend afternoon. I passed primary and middle school with classmates asking about them on several occasions. It was just a simple question but whenever I answered, they gave a variety of reactions. A hum of understanding, a furrow of eyebrows, five more follow-up questions, an insult. The list was endless.

I could not blame them; if I was in their shoes I would have done one of those, too. Whenever they asked me who was the boy in the pictures, I would say, 'I don't know'. Initial situations of answering with this response taught me that such reply evoked the nastiest and the nosiest reactions. Either people were curious to know more than I could comfortably divulge or they would resort to a one-line insult. After hundreds of trials and errors, I came to the conclusion that smiling was the best reply. The second best was 'a childhood friend'.

In a matter of sense, he really was. My muse had been with me for as long as I could remember and even if he was not exactly a friend, he was a constant companion. While friendships were formed and forgotten, my visions about him remained. Good or bad, he never left my mind. And I had learned to accept him as a piece of me, someone I grew up with, and a part of what made me today.

My visions about the boy were all different yet the same. There were myriads of locations where they happened; parks, malls, classrooms, and even unusual ones like under the bed or inside a public bathroom cubicle. The scenarios would be different as well. Sometimes innocent activities like playing ball or walking around places. And then there were some that were less normal. I would not say that I could remember every single one of them, hence the drawings, but there were a few that remained in my memory to this day.

Throughout them all, there was single thing that never changed: I never saw his face. I knew he was a boy because of the physique, the clothes, and the short hair. But beyond that and I was clueless. In fact, I had never seen him facing me. It was just always his back or some extremities like his hands or feet. At the beginning, it used to annoy me that never once did I ever see what he looked like. And infinitely curious. Anyone who had been seeing the same boy in their visions would want to know their identity. I thought of ways to see his face, but to no avail. I did not even know how or why these daydreams began; how much more manipulating them? Still, I tried and yet I was never successful.

Maybe that was why I also ended up sketching my moments with the boy. There was an air of mystery surrounding him that I could not unlock. And there was this tiny hope at the back of my mind that someday, he would reveal himself, too.

 **+O+O+  
**

I opened the door to my bedroom and took off my bag, leaving it at the foot of the bed before walking over to the desk to place down my file case. I went to the closet and began pulling out clothes to change into and then proceeded to the bathroom to take a shower. Once I emerged from the bath, I grabbed my drawing pad and took a pencil from the can of writing utensils. My feet led me to the accent chair at the corner of my room beside the window. Sitting down, I peered outside and saw the empty park outside of our apartment complex, illuminated by lamp posts that kept the darkness of the evening at bay.

The view tonight was great. There was not a cloud in the sky and the full moon was shining brightly above, like a ball of cold light hung from a celestial ceiling. It was similar to the atmosphere in the vision that I drew yesternight. We were in a somewhat rural area, with grass-covered fields on both sides of the road. I was in the front seat of a car and from where I was, I could see you sitting on top of the car's hood.

Before I could even move, you stretched an arm and patted on the space beside you. Knowing that the gesture was directed towards me, I pushed the door open and stepped out. I moved to the front and climbed onto the metal hood. It was only faintly warm, a nice contrast from the cold breeze of the night. Even when sitting beside you like this, I could not turn my head to gaze at your face. It was useless to push that as I had learned from past experiences. Instead, I settled on staring up to watch the full moon and the twinkling stars.

I had never seen the sky like this, looking so vast and never ending as it spread high above us. It made me realize how small I was, that we were merely specks of dust compared to what lied beyond our skies. But that did not make me feel insignificant. Because even if I was, I did not mind if it meant that we could be trifling together.

I must had seen it wrong, but I thought I saw a shooting star flashed by. I was able to think of a wish just before it blinked to nothingness.

 _I want to see you._

Loud knocks erupted from the other side of the door, followed by my mother's voice. "Syuusuke, dinner is ready."

"Coming." I called out in return before leaving the chair and heading outside. On top of it was my drawing pad where a new scene had be sketched.

 **+O+O+**

At the end of the roofed pathway, I could see the gates of the school widely open as if congratulating me after a day of hard work. I stepped out of the roof's protection and let the tiny drops of rain fall from above me. The day looked gloomy from the gray clouds hovering above, accompanied by the light rain. I could smell the nature as the scent hung heavily in the air.

When I crossed the gate's border, I saw your figure standing at the side. You were holding a white, transparent umbrella and was staring on the road ahead. With a smile, I walked up and gently linked my arm to yours, slipping my skinny limb in between the small space by your torso. The slight jerk of the muscle beneath my touch was my only hint of your surprise. You did not shake it off, but instead pressed your arm closer to tighten the grasp. You shifted your hold on the rain protection and had it hovering in the middle of us, maybe even leaning a little more on my side.

Feeling my smile widened, we headed out, bodies huddled close under the umbrella as the pitterpatters of rain adorned the comforting silence between us.

 **+O+O+**

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. When I looked up, I saw Saeki peering down on me with a slight worry on his face. I took note of the handsomeness of his features, concluding once again that the girls' admiration for him was not without justification. I quietly waited for him to say something.

"Ryou is going to the hospital to visit his grandmother." He spoke. "I'm coming with him so-"

"It's okay." I replied before he could even finish the sentence. "Please greet his grandmother for me."

"Kikumaru's last class will be over in ten minutes. Just wait for him so you can go home together."

I shook my head in refusal. "He's eating out with Momo. Don't worry too much. I can go by myself."

"But-"

"Saeki," I felt the end of my lips tugging upward, a hint of amusement in my voice. "you sound like my father again."

"You can't stop me from worrying. What if you suddenly space out while crossing the road or something? Have you forgotten that you once hit your head on a lamp post?" The male reasoned with a slight frown. "Just wait for a little while. I'll ask one of the juniors to accompany you home."

"And I told you, I don't need it." The smile remained on my face even after maintaining my stance to disagree. "I'll be fine."

He still looked unconvinced, but did not press with the issue anymore. "It's raining outside. Do you have an umbrella?"

"No."

Saeki ruffled his hair in frustration and sighed. "Ah, what am I going to do with you?"

I spotted Ryou's head appearing at the door, probably wondering what was holding up the other. I waved at him which the boy returned before reverting my gaze back to Saeki. "Don't keep him waiting. I'll text you once I'm home."

"You better do." With a last bid of goodbye, he finally stepped away from my desk and walked out of the room.

I resumed my staring through the window, shutting out the noises and movement of students who were rushing to leave for their respective cram schools. Outside, the rain continued to pour, as if washing the world of its sins.

"If only you were really waiting for me."

 **+O+O+**

My visions gradually progressed from innocent to intimate.

I could still remember the first time that I noticed the change. It was two years ago, on the 14th day of March. I went straight home as soon as the bell signalizing dismissal rang, beating everyone to the door and ran out of school without looking back. Everything went by in a blur. I luckily got on the right bus, luckily got off the right station, and then sprinted off towards the direction of my apartment building.

I entered my bedroom and unceremoniously flopped on top of the bed. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling the pain in my chest growing worse by the second. I tried to kill it yet the more I fought, the stronger it got. Tears formed in my eyes and were now threatening to spill over. I tried not to think of a certain bouquet of roses, the serenade, the silver haired boy kneeling down in front of a beautiful male armed with a confession.

I clung to my pillow tightly when the mental image of two people hugging came next. A tiny stream of tears finally fell down the side of my face, leaving wet streaks on my skin.

 _Go away._ I pleaded silently for the memory to disappear. _I can't be like this. I'm supposed to be happy for them._

But my tear ducts had their own stubbornness and refused to let up. Time passed by. I was in between hiccups and short gasps when I felt an arm circling around my waist. My body was pulled close and I found myself pressing against someone's chest. My head was lifted gently and another limb slipped underneath, now caressing my hair with soft touches in addition to the hug.

Even at that point, I did not feel panic nor fear nor even alarm at having someone on the bed next to me. My pain was blinding me from rational thinking and all I wanted was to be comforted. Besides, I knew that I did not have to put my guard up. No one could realistically enter my room like this, unless...

With my eyes still closed shut, I felt a tickling sensation near my ear as the slightly deep voice of a male whispered to me from behind.

 _"Don't cry, I'm here. I'll never leave you."_

I let go of my hold on the pillow and put my hand over his, squeezing it in return.

 _I believe you._

 **+O+O+  
**

We did not talk about it, to make things clear nor to agree where exactly we stood now. Conversations in my visions were rare and most of them only lasted enough to engage in one or two turns of exchange. It did not matter, though. If the scenarios were anything to go by, it was already a given. What used to be just a pleasant companionship had changed into something more.

Surprisingly (or not), it did not bother me. It was just a matter of time, I guess. Being with me throughout the years, sharing memories that only the two of us had, I knew it would eventually lead to this. Back then I only felt joy for having a secret friend, then came the appreciation for a soulmate who understood me more than anyone else. I still had small doubts lingering at the back of my mind about this progress but they were all wiped away one, winter night.

It must be very late at night, judging from the lack of people walking around. There were Christmas lights hanging above, giving a mellow yet festive atmosphere that complimented the chilly season. I walked up to a bench where you were already seated, the image of your broad shoulders covered in black winter coat a stark contrast to the colorful light bulbs blinking above. I occupied the space beside you and turned my attention to the massive fountain a few meters away. Even with the lack of audience, water spouted playfully from it in rhythmic patterns.

I was entertained by the dancing waters when I felt your hand taking my own. There was no prelude, no hint. Just those three words.

 _"I love you."_

Breathing suddenly became difficult and the loud hammering of my chest seemed to thunder all the way up to my ears. I knew my cheeks must had turned red now. Strange, yet I did not feel confused nor scared. Indeed, it was just a matter of time.

 _"I love you, too."_

The hold on my hand tightened. I could not help but smile. After months of the increased intimacy, it was official.

My eyes caught sight of something small fluttering down. I curiously followed its movement, floating in erratic sways until it landed on our joined hands. I realized it was a snowflake.

The first snow of the year.

 **+O+O+**

"Fuji senpai."

I looked up from my tray of food and saw three curious faces staring at me from across the table. Seeing that I was finally listening, the person in the middle spoke. "Are you dating someone?"

This immediately caught everyone's attention, with the random clang of chopsticks dropped and someone thumping their chest after getting choked with food. The pairs of eyes watching me had intense gazes that would make even the most seasoned public figure squirm in discomfort. I knew that my answer was being highly anticipated.

I flashed them a sweet smile before replying. "Yes."

Apparently, this was not the expected response as the people in our table appeared shocked. Some had their mouths hung open, some wide-eyed. To my right, Saeki roughly grabbed my shoulders to face him. "Who is it?!"

"I think the first question should be if it's a boy or a girl?" Kikumaru, one of the trio who had been eyeing me earlier, added. "Answer me, nya!"

"A boy."

"Oh, my god!" A spiky haired male squealed loudly, earning stares from students at another table. "How come we didn't know about this?!"

"You're too loud, baka." The person who was sitting at the far end shot back at him. "And honestly, who cares? Fuji senpai has no obligation to inform us of his love life."

The man scoffed in reply. "What does a viper know about having a love life?"

"Are you starting a fight with me, peach?!"

"Bring it on, mamushi!"

"Kaidoh has a point though, Momo. Even if Fuji is our friend, he must have the choice whether to share it to us." Another guy with a kind smile stepped in between the two younger's brewing fight. "I just can't believe he has time to spend with a boyfriend when we can't even drag him out of his own daydreaming."

"I think you're missing something, Taka-san." Kikumaru handed the male with his racket and then waited for the drastic change in personality. "One, two, three!"

"BURNING!" The once serene guy suddenly got up and began swinging his tennis equipment. "Who is it, Fuji? Come on baby, tell us the name of that student!"

Despite the chaos, I simply gave them a smile, still not saying anything. That was all they would get out of me. I was happy that I had someone that I could call mine, but other people would never understand even if I tried to explain.

"Come on, senpai, stop giving us your usual smile and spill!"

"Yeah, we were planning to introduce you to someone but that went down the drain when you turned out to be taken, nya!"

"BURNING!"

Seeing that I had no plans of revealing more, Inui, who had been unusually quiet the entire time, finally decided to step up at that moment. "There is a 99.6% chance that Fuji will not reveal the person that he's dating. It's better to just drop the subject and wait for another day when the chance might get higher."

Saeki, who was sitting beside me, also called out the others. "Quit it, guys. No one will ask Fuji anymore questions, okay?"

At that, the rest dropped the issue and just settled on talking among themselves minus Kaidoh. They were making guesses as to whom it might be and how come none of them ever saw him. Even without turning my head, I could feel the stare of the other student beside me. I reverted my attention back to my lunch and ate quietly on my seat.

 **+O+O+**

"Fuji."

My gaze shifted from the contents of my locker to the voice that called out my name. Saeki was standing beside me, a serious look on his face. "Can we talk?"

Closing the metal door, I nodded slightly and waited for him to continue. "Are you really dating someone?"

"Yes."

Silence. After some seconds, he spoke again. "Is he treating you well?"

I was taken aback by the question even though my smiling face did not reflect it. Not a who, not a when, just asking if I was being treated well. Despite being caught surprised, I managed to reply. "Y-yes."

Saeki's eyes were searching, as if trying to look for lies or something hidden beneath my visage. "Good. Tell him that if he ever hurt you, he will answer to me."

I felt my lips tugging wider. Even with the threat, the boy's concern for me was evident. "I will."

Still boring his gaze into mine, he continued. "I don't want him to do the same thing that I did two years ago."

 **+O+O+**

The rest of the days went by in a bliss. If before I only took the visions as they came, now I waited for them with anticipation. Each experience brought me fluttering sensations that made me feel as if I was flying. It was a great thing that I was the only one who knew about them, really. If I ever told others about what went on in my visions they would think I was crazy. After all, a relationship was supposed to be real for it to be true, right?

I disagreed with that. For me, he did not have to be a reality to be true. Everything else could leave, but not him. We did the same things that other couples did. They may be short, but the intimacy was there. Even when I still could not see him, I could feel his love. Putting words to this made it seem pathetic. But I knew what I wanted. He brought me out of the darkness. Healed my pain. The rest of the world could think what they wanted but he and I would remain together, forever.

 **+O+O+**

I was browsing the aisle where rows and rows of food were displayed. In front of me, the shopping cart was rolling slowly from my hold. There was also another pair of hands gripping on both sides of the wheeled metal basket. I could feel the towering presence behind, arms extending around me. The supermarket was bustling with activity, with occasional shoppers walking past us. But none paid attention to two boys back hugging while pushing a nearly empty cart.

I caught sight of my favorite snack lying on top of the row. I tiptoed to reach for it, but another hand beat me and grabbed the bag with ease before dumping it into the cart. Despite my gratitude, I could not help but pout. "Thanks."

Hearing the pout in my voice, I felt your chin rest on the blade of my shoulder, your nose nuzzling my neck. "Just leave the high places to me."

"Sure."

"Why are you still sulking? You're not short; I'm just taller."

Smiling at his words, we continued on our way. Lately, I was starting to learn more about you. And with each passing moment, my fear began to grow. What if one day, these won't be enough?

 **+O+O+**

"I want to meet him."

I stopped writing and looked sideways to see Saeki staring at me, the opened book on his own desk lay forgotten. There was no need to ask who the other was referring to.

I shook my head in reply. "You can't."

The frown on his face deepened. "Why?"

 _Even if I want to, I can't._ I thought. If there was someone who wanted to see him the most, it was me. "Just because."

"Don't worry, I won't do anything bad to him. I just want to know-" He halted in his words.

I kept my gaze at him, watching the shift in his expressions. The hesitation, the worry, and then the decisiveness.

"I just want to know what made you like him. And if he's worthy of your love."

 **+O+O+**

The sound of waves crashing was the first thing that caught my attention. I took a deep breath and the salty breeze coming from the sea registered in my senses, the warmth of the sun glaring down at the back of my neck prickling the exposed skin.

You were standing a few meters ahead. Dressed in a white striped shirt and denim jeans that I thought was too hot for the weather. And inappropriate for a place where people would often wear less. Your hair was swaying gently with the wind, the vast, blue water moving to and fro.

I began walking towards your direction, feeling the sand seeping in between my toes. The fine grains felt gritty, intrusive, yet at the same time cool and comfortingly damp. I was only a few steps behind when I sensed a slight movement coming from you. At first I did not realize what it was, until the shock came and hit me fully.

Your head turned slightly, making me catch a glimpse of your jawline.

 **+O+O+**

"Fuji-san."

Ryou pulled the chair in front and sat down on it, facing my desk. His eyes held a seriousness that they did not normally have, implying the importance of his purpose for initiating a conversation with me. I put down my pencil and gave him my full attention.

"What do you think of Saeki?" He asked.

It was a simple question that could be answered in many different ways, depending on how honest I wanted to be with him. His tone was not accusing, not suspicious, not demanding. The choice of how much to divulge lied on me.

With a smile, I gave a response. "He is a good friend."

I watched the other bit his lip, like he wanted to stop himself from saying more, and yet the desire to learn more seemed to be winning, eventually making him continue. "Is that all?"

The smile on my face did not let up despite the meaning behind his words. "You are a few years too late in asking me that."

With Ryou being Ryou, there was no more need for further explanation. The tensed expression on his beautiful face left, now replaced with a relieved, brighter one.

"Stay happy. Both of you."

"Thank you." The boy's eyes shifted to the sketchbook lying on my table. He observed the artwork that was nearly done, eyebrows furrowed slightly as if deciphering it. "You're drawing..."

"Yes?" My heart skipped its beat in anticipation. _Did he notice?_

"Is he turning around?"

 **+O+O+**

The sound of boiling pasta on the stove adorned the silence of the kitchen. There was nothing new in the place; this part of my house had always been the same ever since I was young. What made it even better, though, was the sight of you moving about in front of the sink. The knot of the pink apron tied around your back looked endearing. It made you look domestic, and I had to fight the urge to let out a chuckle. Instead, I settled with a smile that I knew you could not see.

"Are shrimps okay? It's faster to cook and easier to peel." You said, back still facing me.

"Anything you cook would taste great." I replied with a hum.

I heard you laugh, sending a fluttering feeling in my chest. "Sweet talker."

I looked down on the basket of fruits in front of the counter where I had been leaning. Grabbing an apple, I played with the object as the sound of you cooking continued to ring inside the kitchen. My attention was taken when I heard you speak again. "Can you pass me a lemon?"

I dropped the apple and picked up the yellow fruit. Glancing up, I extended a hand to give the requested food. "Here."

Luckily, you took it quickly or the lemon would had fallen off from my hold as the strength suddenly left my limb. "Thank you." You said before returning to chopping your ingredients, not noticing the shock that registered on my face.

There was an image of a cartoon bear in front of your apron.

 **+O+O+**

"Wow, he looks handsome, nya!"

The pencil flew from my hand in surprise and rolled beneath my seatmate's table. I crouched down to pick it up, but someone beat me to it and placed it back on top of my desk. I smiled gratefully at him and resumed my shading.

"You didn't tell me that he was good looking, Fuji." The boy said as he continued to watch me draw.

"Thank you, Eiji." I replied with a smile. I made a faint stroke to lightly trace the bridge of your nose, then your lips, then your chin. I moved back slightly to have a wider view of the entire image, trying to spot a detail that still needed to be corrected.

"I thought you're just drawing a man's back? Why is he sitting sideways now?" The redhead asked curiously.

"It just...happened." Even as I said it, a wave of elation enveloped me. I hit my head on my classroom's door earlier when the vision suddenly entered my mind. I ignored the hissing pain on my forehead as I hurried to my own table to sketch what I saw.

It was you, sitting at this very chair. You were staring out of the window, one hand propping up your chin and showing a side of your handsome face. The morning sunlight made you appear to be glowing, as if you weren't already with your good looks. I had only seen portions of your facial features in the past. An eye, a glimpse of your nose, lips curved into a smile. This was the first time that you had fully shown your face, though only half of it. How come you were this handsome?

"He looks like a prince, nya. I'm sure girls will fight to date-" His eyes widened at the sudden realization. "Is this the person you said you were dating?"

I did not reply yet my face felt burning hot, and there was no need for words. Eiji stared at me with a dumbstruck expression before running out of the classroom. "Saeki!"

I buried my face on my palms. I did not know whether to laugh or worry. An impending storm was brewing at the distance.

 **+O+O+**

There was a blue star stuck on the railing.

Seeing the glowing sticker, I abandoned my initial plan of looking for the light switch and proceeded to walk in the dark. The tip of my shoe bumped on the first step of the stairs, serving as a warning to lift my foot. I took the glow-in-the-dark object and looked up. From the top of the stairs, I could see another glowing star, this time green in color, plastered on the place where the staircase was supposed to turn.

I climbed up and took it, seeing another, now red, at a distance. This went on as I climbed up floor after floor. The stars served as my guide in the dark, escalating my curiosity on what could be waiting for me at the top. When I reached the highest level, I saw stars stuck on the door leading to the rooftop. I opened it and saw the night view of the city. Lights from skyscrapers were glowing from afar. To my surprise, there were something more beautiful on the ground waiting to be noticed.

Mason jars containing glow-in-the-dark paints were lining up the floor, tiny galaxies splattered inside those glasses as they created a path for me to follow. I walked in slow steps, staring admiringly at their beauty as I passed by. I was so immersed in watching the jars that I did not realize the sudden brightness in my surroundings. When I lifted my head, I was greeted by the sight of a brightly lit rooftop. Tiny lights covered the metal fences, lanterns of different sizes illuminating the ground where a cozy blanket had been spread out with several pillows lying on top of it. But that was not the surprise.

 _You were._

You were standing beyond those, hands resting awkwardly on both sides. The combination of semi-tucked white sweater and beige pants and brown loafers made you appear charming yet casual. My eyes traveled from your sandy brown hair that was slightly messy, combed to the side to expose a portion of your forehead, to the handsome face that I was seeing, fully, for the first time.

I could not move. It was like seeing a ghost. I blinked, and blinked again, half expecting your image to suddenly disappear. But it remained, you remained.

You circled around the blanket and walked towards me. You were even more breathtaking up close. I had to tilt my head up to meet your gaze due to your height. You had a soft look on your face as we stared into each other. There was happiness in those dark orbs, and I felt my heart climbing up my throat. How could someone look at me that way? Was I deserving of such?

You opened your mouth and the same, deep voice rang. "Do I look okay?"

I fought the urge to chuckle at the silly question. It would take a god to rival you. "More than okay."

Apparently, it was not another one of your humble jokes because you visibly looked relieved at my answer. You took my hands into yours as you flashed a gentle smile at me. "I may not be much, but I hope I can be enough for you. I cannot give you the world, but you will be to me."

My throat felt constricting, making it difficult to speak. I never thought we would come this far, that the day will come when you would finally reveal yourself to me. I never raised my hopes because I did not want to get hurt. I did not nurture the greed in fear that it might turn you away. At the back of my mind, I also thought that not seeing you had its advantage. That even if you suddenly leave one day, I would not be haunted of your image as strongly as it could. That forgetting you might be easier. These were just blind assurances, of course, because I knew that if you disappeared, knowing your face or not, I would be beyond repair.

"Sounds good enough to me." I managed to say before I got pulled into your embrace.

It was not the time to think of dark possibilities. Right now, I did not need anything else. Just you, me, and this wonderful dimension where we could be together. Our own world.

 **+O+O+**

A hand tugged at my wrist, causing me to turn around. Saeki had a baleful look on his face as he glowered at me. "You lied." Was all he said.

I tried to break away from his hold, but it remained tight. "I didn't."

"You said he was treating you well. How could he, when he was just a hallucination?"

At the last word, my attempts to break free became stronger. I would never accept such term to describe you. "He is not."

"Oh, yeah? Then how come you couldn't tell us who he is? To let us meet him? Because you can't."

"Let go." I told him, desperate to get away from the boy. I did not want to hear anymore of this. No one had the right to tell me that you were just made up, a fickle of my imagination. All these years I could not even predict any of the visions I had involving you. For years I tried to make sense of them, to manipulate them, to test myself if I was the one creating all these memories, and yet they remained vague and mysterious. If I made you up, I should had been able to see your face long time ago.

"No, I will not let go until you promise that you will find happiness. Real happiness." Saeki insisted. "Not a made-up fantasy that you conjured from all those daydreaming."

"What does it even mean to be real?" I stopped resisting and looked him in the eye. "Happiness is not bound to worldly experiences."

"You need a real person to hold, to take care of you. You can't live inside your mind forever!"

"I can, and I will!" For the first time in a long while, I raised my voice at someone. "You are not in the position to tell me what to do."

"But I am your friend!" Saeki moved closer, leaving barely a step in between us. "Doesn't my opinion matter? I could not give you that happiness so I want you to get it from someone else who can. Someone who won't leave you and love you with all his being."

"I found the exact person you said, the only thing that he wasn't is to exist physically. Does that mean he didn't count?"

"But he-"

"Kojiroh," I called out his first name. He seemed startled at the sudden address. Even I got surprised by how soft my voice came out after the previous heated exchange. "you hurt me once but I did not hold it against you because I understood. I tried to love the way you wanted me to, yet it did not turn out well. So please, do not rob me of the chance to be happy just because he does not fit what you think he should be."

My gaze shifted to the ground, not wanting to see his reaction to my stubbornness. I was aware of his good intentions, but to be told that the way I love was wrong, I could not accept it. There was no one I could love in this world the way I loved you.

I heard a sigh, and Saeki took me in his arms. He rubbed his hand comfortingly on my back as he spoke. "I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot."

I returned the gesture and let out a muffled reply. "You are."

His chuckle caused his chest to vibrate lightly. "I just want you to be happy, Syuusuke. You deserve more, way much more."

"I know."

"He still better treat you right, even in those daydreams."

 **+O+O+**

I was sitting alone in the park, surrounded by trees whose leaves had turned the color of melancholy; red and orange and yellow and brown. Some of them littered the road, tempting me to stand up and step on them, expecting the satisfying crunch that would surely follow. But I kept in place and continued drawing. This image was different. For the first time in my life, I was making something that I created myself.

It was not from a vision.

The pang in my chest returned, but I did not stop. I added some soft lines along the tresses of your hair. I had nothing to draw. For weeks I waited for visions to come, wanting to see you again. Yet they didn't.

I was like a madman. I was desperate, yet hopeless. How could I make you return when I did not even know how you began? All these years you never left me for longer than a day or two. Why did you leave? Why now, when I had learned so much about you?

My worst fear finally came true.

But even when you disappeared without warning, I did not lose hope that one of these days, you would show yourself again. I was your world, and you were mine. It would always be.

 _I need you. Come back._

I was in that moment of wallowing in pain when a shadow hovered above my drawing pad.

With the last stroke of my pencil, I put the sketchbook down and stared up at the figure who had deliberately stood in front of my bench, blocking the sunlight and halting me from further doing my artwork. I certainly had annoyance brewing inside my chest upon the disturbance. Curiosity too, for having been interrupted in such a way like a close friend would.

I was not expecting to feel anything new when my eyes met the person.

First came the shock. Then amazement. And then finally, a strong urge to cry.

 _It's you._

 **+O+O+**

Time stood still and for a moment I wondered if this was real or just another vision. After weeks of not showing up, leaving me to turn insane from all my worries and fears, you suddenly appeared like this. Without a warning, just like how it used to be.

You crouched down so our eyes could meet at the same level. Your hand reached out to wipe the tears that I didn't realize had fallen from my eyes. You gazed at me tenderly, albeit the orbs were now hidden behind a pair of oval spectacles. The same way you did that time when we were at the rooftop.

After what felt like eternity, you finally spoke.

"Hi, I'm Tezuka Kunimitsu."

And like a dam bursting, my emotions flooded out as I moved forward to hug you, causing us to tumble to the ground. In between my sobs, I managed to mumble out a reply. "Fuji Syuusuke."

I was lying on top of you, a crying mess, yet you did not mind the wetness on your chest nor the dirt of the road on your back. You simply wrapped your arms around me. The sensations felt so much better. Your voice murmured close to my ear and this time, I knew my world finally became real.

"Found you."

* * *

 **A/N:** done!~ quite long, but i don't want to make unnecessary updates by splitting it into chapters. i hope you understand u.u I didn't include all Seigaku members as characters because I'm thinking of writing a sequel, this time in Tezuka's POV. the story has fantasy elements that don't quite make sense. if you have questions, post it in the review and i'll shoot you a reply ^^ i hope you liked it!


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